Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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