Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
