Where are you?
In a non slutty way
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Me too!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
