Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
