Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
