Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
