When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
