toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
