whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
