Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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