and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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