So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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