so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
