Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
