i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
