Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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