We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
