Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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