remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
where does the pee come out of this thing
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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