I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
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