So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
