i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize