Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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