what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
