She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think your dad took our porno
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
