I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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