My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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