it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
