Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
