I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
