Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
