I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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