Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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