So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
