pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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