you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
