oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
