The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
