from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize