is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
