maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
