So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
