bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Fuck appropriateness.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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