found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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