Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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