Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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