Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
