i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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