He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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