Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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