2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize