nut hugger
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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