Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
