can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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