why do cheetos always look like penises
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize