do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
