Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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