I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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