i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
