why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Randomize
