I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
