Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
