I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
