Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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