i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
